MY JOURNE

ordinary world
JUCK JIHANO IS A PCG WHO LIKES TOAST.  JUCK JIHANO IS ACTUALLY NOT ALL THAT COOL BUT EVERYONE THINKS THAT JUCK JIHANO IS COOL BECAUSE JUCK JIHANO IS REALLY QUITE COOL.  JUCK JIHANO SPENDS HIS TIME EATING FOOD.  JUCK JIHANO ALSO LIKES TO EAT WATER.  JUCK JIHANO WORKS FOR HEWLETT PACKARD.  JUCK JIHANO WORKS ALL DAY AND ALL NIGHT LIKE A BOSS.  JUCK JIHANO DREAMS OF ONE DAY BECOMING A PROFESSIONAL WRESTLER.  JUCK JIHANO NEVER ACHIEVES THIS GOAL.  I AM TELLING YOU THIS NOW SO THAT YOU DO NOT BECOME DISAPPOINTED LATER ON. 


call to adventure
ONE DAY JUCK JIHANO COMES HOME TO FIND A BRO SITTING AT JUCK JIHANO'S KITCHEN TABLE.  THE BRO TELLS JUCK JIHANO THAT JUCK JIHANO MUST SAVE THE DEEEP SEA DIVERS BECAUSE THEY ARE AT RISK OF GOING TOO DEEP.  IF THEY GO MUCH DEEPER, THEY WILL BECOME DEEEEP SEA DIVERS, AND NOBODY HAS EVER SURVIVED THIS LEVEL OF DEEPOCITY.


refusal of the call
"NO."  SAYS JUCK JIHANO.


meeting with the mentor
THE BRO TAKES JUCK JIHANO TO MEET WITH BRAH, THE MENTOR.  "YOU MUST SAVE THE DEEEP SEA DIVERS," SAYS BRAH.  "TO SAVE THEM, YOU MUST GO TO THE SEA AND TELL THEM TO COME UP TO THE SURFACE." 

crossing the threshold
AFTER JUCK JIHANO AGREES, BRO AND BRAH TAKE HIM OUT ON A BOAT TO THE MIDDLE OF THE SEA.  IT IS A VERY NEW ENVIORNMENT FOR JUCK JIHANO.

tests allies enemies
THE SEA IS VERY ROUGH AND CHOPPY JUCK JIHANO IS SCARED.  WHEN HE GETS INTO THE WATER, A PIECE OF DRIFTWOOD SMASHES JUCK JIHANO IN THE FACE.  EVERYONE LAUGHS REALLY HARD.  BRO AND BRAH THROW DEAD FISH IN THE WATER, AND SHARKS COME UP TO EAT IT.  A SHARK BITES JUCK JIHANO IN THE FACE, AND EVERYONE LAUGHS REALLY HARD.  JUCK JIHANO GOES TO DEEP INTO THE SEA, AND JUCK JIHANO CANT GET BACK UP IN TIME TO BREATHE.  ONE OF JUCK JIHANO'S LUNGS COLLAPSES, AND EVERYONE LAUGS REALLY HARD.  THEN THEY GIVE JUCK JIHANO A DIVING HELMET. 

approach
JUCK JIHANO VINES DOWN TO FING THE DEEEP SEA DIVERS.  WELL, THERE THEY ARE.

ordeal
AS JUCK JIHANO APPROACHES THE DEEEP SEA DIVERS, A STINGRAY STINGS JUCK JIHANO RIGHT ON THE TIP OF HIS TOE.  IT HURTS JUCK JIHANO REALLY BAD.  JUCK JIHANO TRIES TO PUCH THE STINGRAY RIGHT IN THE NOSE BUT JUCK JIHANO MISSES BY ABOUT FIVE MILES.  THE STINGRAY STINGS JUCK JIHANO ON THE NOSE, AND JUCK JIHANO PUCHES THE STINGRAY IN THE NOSE REALLY REALLY REALLY HARD.  THE STINGRAY DIES.  EVERYONE LAUGHS REALLY HARD.  THEN JUCK JIHANO TELLS THE DEEEP SEA DIVERS THAT THERE IS FREE ICE CREAM ON THE SURFACE. 

the road back
THEY ALL COME UP TO THE SURFACE.

ressurection
JUCK JIHANO NOW MUST FIGHT ALL OF THE DIVERS BECAUSE THERE WASN'T REALLY ICE CREAM AT THE SURFACE OF THE SEA.  JUCK JIHANO KILLS ALL OF THE DIVERS.  EVERYONE LAUGHS REALLY HARD.

return with elixer
BRO AND BRAH GIVE JUCK JIHANO A FIFY DOLLAR GIFT CARD TO TOYS R US.

teh hero's jouney

Let me start off by saying "teh" was not a mistake.
anyway, I chose a pretty boss nerd movie called

• Why cant I insert a freaking table?  this is some bullshti.
• ORDINARY WORLD- Scott lives w/ Wallace, dates high school girl, is in a band, hangs out w/ knives (high school girl) at arcade, tells epic tale of puck-man and paku paku, which means to flap one's mouth open and closed. then one day he sees Ramona Flowers in a library
• CALL TO ADVENTURE-   Scott is at a party looking for this one girl with hair like this

and when he finds her he is like "erm hurderp paku man flaps his lips when he derps because Japanese people don't like vandalism cuz you could scratch out the p and make it an f herpderp"

• REFUSAL OF THE CALL- "kay ill leave you alone forever now"
• MEETING WITH THE MENTOR- I don't feel that there is a clear and present mentor.  Wallace encourages him throughout, but that's because he needs Scott out of the house.
• CROSSING THE THRESHOLD- Welp, after Scott orders the package from amazon (which he signs for ((like a boss)) and immediately throws away) he goes outside for a walk w/ Ramona and they see a "thingy" which is a magical door that they open and go into a special world in which they can fly.  (I guess they just typed "t/fly" or something.)  Anyway, they wind up at her house where poor Scott gets a bad case of blue balls.
• TESTS, ALLIES, ENEMIES- Ramona informs Scott that he may have to defeat her 7 evil exes. "you have seven evil ex boyfriends?"  "Seven evil exes, yes."  The first one is at the battle of the bands.  Right after sex bob-omb plays he crashes through the roof, and is quickly mocked for his pirate-like attire.  throughout the movie he has 6 additional evil exes to face.
• APPROACH- I'm having trouble with this one. "stakes are heightened..." I suppose stakes are heightened when Wallace tells Scott that he needs to move out soon... I'm skipping this one.  Take off points if you must.
• ORDEAL- the toughest battle is with g-man, where he quite literally dies and is reborn, (or re-spawned, in this case) after which he kills him.
• REWARD- Scott's reward is that g-man is dead, but both Knives and Ramona are like "wtf mate" because he cheated on both of them w/ the other.
• THE ROAD BACK- well i guess he walks down some stairs...
• RESURRECTION- Now he must fight "Nega-Scott," an opposite of himself, but it turns out that they just talked and their gonna meet for lunch next week.
• RETURN WITH ELIXIR- There aint no elixir.  He walks off w/ Ramona because Knives claims that she is too cool for him anyways.
That was great.

What do true warriors strive for?

GREG8 IS A GUY who manages a pizza planet.  His days normally consist of screaming and discovering new ways to torture toys.  One day he decides to tape 26 bottle rockets to a G.I. Joe figure.  It sparks wildly and before he can react it hits him in the face.  He is now horribly disfigured (he was only mildly disfigured before) and he decides to make a change.  He will stop torturing toys and he will talk to that employee of his, "super bro-bro."  He will have to come out of the closet with his parents, however.


Will he be able to do it?
How will super bro-bro react?
Can he curb his cravings to torture toys?
Should he try to suck steak through a straw?

GREG8

 

PIZZA PLANET

blirb u mad bro u mad?

Paul Revere- Beastie Boys

Mike D. rides across the desert on his horse, trying to flee the authorities.  He is seeking out a female to fornicate with when he instead meets a thirsty man named M.C.A.  The two ride to the “fly spot where they got the champagne” and decide to case the place.

Stop talking

Cat- C418

You see what I did there?  This song is from Minecraft.  It has no lyrics.  I GET TO DECIDE ITS MEANING.  And I say it’s about super bro-bro. 

Super bro-bro is a sad and lost soul who tries to find a job in today’s piss-poor economy.  He soon lands a job delivering pizzas only to discover that he has fallen in love with his manager, Greg8.  Super bro-bro is now a closet homosexual with deep feelings for Greg8.

Spongebob Squarepants

Young Spongebob Squarepants is a creature who lives in a house made of fruit deep in the sea.  His skin is a yellow, spongy, absorbent material.  This is most likely due to the fact that he is a sponge.  As expected, Mr. Squarepants finds himself getting into much nautical nonsense.